He Remains the Same

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice you
When branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death,
You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

This past week was a crazy week, to describe it vaugly. It went from one extreme to the other, constantly finding out new information, learning a lot, facing challenging circumstances, becoming excited about the future and terrified all in different ways. A couple weeks back I wrote a blog about my dad and how he thought he was going to lose his job, and I was praising God that he didn't. I also wrote in the blog about what would happen if my dad had come home that day unemployed, how it would have all "still been about Jesus". It's amazing to me how God uses me to write to myself in the future. It's happened more than once before, where I will journal something or share something with a friend, and after some time has passed, I look back on it and see the "application experience" God was preparing me for. Looking back on that blog I wrote a few weeks ago, it couldn't be more perfect for this moment and time in my life. My dad called me this week, and "broke the news to me". The thing he had feared just a couple weeks before when I wrote this note, happened. I keep reading these words:

"Even if my dad had walked into our home this afternoon, unemployed, it would have still been about Jesus. It all revolves around Him, in all of His glory. God does have control, so what good would it have done for me not to trust Him? If it is going to go His way no matter how much I worry, or fret, or try to change things, in the end, His way goes. Over the years I've learned to truly trust in the plan that is HIS. Yes, even if that means facing and enduring the things that are completely unknown. At least I know who my Provider is. Whether I have the money to pay for the next semester's education or not, whether my dad's income ceases while trying to raise his kids, or whether he gets to keep his job and is offered better benefits. . .whether death comes to our closest loved one or whether a dear friend gives birth and life to a precious soul--no matter what the circumstance--I've come to see all these things as blessings. Some are slightly disguised as our eyes are blinded to God's plan, but they all were in the works from the beginning."

This was what I wrote...but more like what God wrote to me, before it even happened. At least I know who my Provider is. It's true. And I have the freedom and joy of getting to know Him more and more each day. I will choose to do that, and trust in it all. I think I decided to write this note tonight because I have no doubt that God wants His children to know that He is always there...always providing...always worth trusting...and ALWAYS faithful. And incase you may be forgetting, or losing sight of that at this point in your walk...I wanted to remind you. Just as I've been reminded.

He is good. . .ALL the time.

We sing it and read it over and over, but do we mean it? I know I do. He doesn't change, even when my circumstances do. He remains the same. And that's comforting, for sure.

My Dream

Yesterday I took a nap after my classes until dinner. I was very tired. I found myself falling into a dream. I wish I could remember all the little details because I know that there was more to it than what I can remember, but from the things I can remember, I wanted to share.

I was in this pretty big building with a bunch of other people. I remember recognizing a few individuals, but I can't remember who they were. Everyone was wearing the same colored clothing besides me and one other person. The other individual and myself were in different colored clothing from each other and from all the other people. I recall her wearing a red and white polka-dotted dress, and I think I was wearing green. Everyone was trying to figure out why we were dressed in different clothing, and why they were all dressed the same. After a while they realized it was because all the people dressed the same weren't trusting and following Jesus, even though they thought they were. I remember falling to my knees and praying for them, and as I began to pray the lady in the polka-dotted dress came up, took my hand, and kissed me on the head. Following her, each and every other person in the room did the same. As they kissed me, or made contact with me in some way, I watched as their clothing changed into their own, as if they had finally found their identity in Christ. I began to weep in my position on the floor.

That was the end of my dream as Amy woke me up for dinner, but I was just fascinated to find myself dreaming such a thing. I don't doubt it was any coincidence. I just need to keep praying. . .

A World that Doesn't Revolve Around Me...

Last night I was praying that my father wouldn't lose his job, and I woke up this morning to find out that what my dad had feared would happen this morning at a meeting, did not. I am thankful on so many levels. I've walked through a lot of things the past 18 years of my life and I've learned that it all revolves around Jesus. Even if my dad had walked into our home this afternoon, unemployed, it would have still been about Jesus. It all revolves around Him, in all of His glory. God does have control, so what good would it have done for me not to trust Him? If it is going to go His way no matter how much I worry, or fret, or try to change things, in the end, His way goes. Over the years I've learned to truly trust in the plan that is HIS. Yes, even if that means facing and enduring the things that are completely unknown. At least I know who my Provider is. Whether I have the money to pay for the next semester's education or not, whether my dad's income ceases while trying to raise his kids, or whether he gets to keep his job and is offered better benefits. . .whether death comes to our closest loved one or whether a dear friend gives birth and life to a precious soul--no matter what the circumstance--I've come to see all these things as blessings. Some are slightly disguised as our eyes are blinded to God's plan, but they all were in the works from the beginning.

This morning when I woke up, the sun couldn't have been shining more obnoxiously in my face. And then I thought how sometimes I feel like God does that when we go to count our blessings--He couldn't be more obvious. But in our own ways, we turn to our other side, or we place a pillow over our eyes and go back to sleep. We ignore or purposely block out the way we've been blessed, and focus on the ways we "have not". Thank you Father for opening my eyes to see your work in my life. Thank you for all the things I've endured, only to realize their immense blessing now as I pray this to you. I pray that you would miraculously work in the lives of those reading this, and open their eyes to see your light. You are working, it is just up to us to look Your way. I pray that we would realize that, and continually remove the pillow from our eyes, and wake up. I love you so much. Thank you for blessing my life so richly, and thank you for those blessings yet to come. In your precious name I pray--amen.