Monday, December 3, 2007

The Wound Matters

"Let the tears come. Get alone, get to your car or your bedroom or the shower and let the tears come. It is the only kind thing to do for your woundedness. Allow yourself to feel again. And feel you will---many things. Anger. That's okay. Anger's not a sin (Eph. 4:26). Remorse. Of course you feel remorse and regret for so many lost years. Fear. Yes, that makes sense. Jesus can handle the fear as well. In fact, there is no emotion you can bring up that Jesus can't handle. Let it all out. Grief is a form of validation; it says the wound mattered. It mattered. You mattered. That's not the way life was supposed to go. There are unwept tears down in there--the tears of a little girl who is lost and frightened. The tears of a teenage girl who's been rejected and has no place to turn. The tears of a woman whose life has been hard and lonely and nothing close to her dreams. Let the tears come.

It might help to remember that those who hurt you were also deeply wounded themselves. They were broken hearts, broken when they were young, and they fell captive to the Enemy. They were in fact pawns in his hands. This doesn't absolve them of the choices they made, the things they did. It just helps us to let them go--to realize that they were shattered souls themselves, used by our true Enemy in his war against femininity.

God invited me to go with him into the deep places of my heart that were hidden and wounded and bleeding still from heartbreaks and wounds I had received from my father's hand. Places I did not want to go. Memories I did not want to revisit. Emotions I did not want to feel. The only reason I said yes to God, the only reason I would travel there, was because I knew he would go with me. Hand in hand. There is a core part of our hearts that was made for Daddy. Made for his strong and tender love. The part is still there, and longing. Open it to Jesus and to your Father God. Ask him to come and love you there. Meet you there. We've all tried so hard to find the fulfillment of this love in other people, and it never, ever works. Let us give this treasure back to the One who can love us best." --
Captivating
......
I don't believe in coincidences. I have no doubt that this chapter I read today in this book came at the exact time I needed it. These words are so profound...ones I've needed to hear so badly, and very similar to the ones I heard just yesterday. God is looking out for me, I know it. Even through the smallest things like this, I can tell. I love that, even at my lowest moments, I have someone who I know loves me wholly and completely.

4 comments:

Jessica said...

wow. thanks for sharing this portion of the chapter.

don't you just love it when you read something/ hear something that sums up what you're going through? It's like God's little reminder. little gift. and it doesn't even need to be wrapped.

also, i love you.

Jessica said...

ps. you should check out some of Brooke Fraser's music on youtube..

"Have your way here
Keep me afloat
cuz I know I'll
sink without You
Take this ocean of pain
that is mine
Throw me a lifeline"


& also Shadowfeet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4KiGN1j1No

Katie said...

I LOVE this book! I read it with a friend awhile back.

Sophia is sitting here next to me and I asked her if she knew who this was (she saw your pic) - and she said - "Kelsey! Is she your daughter?"

Aww!

Amy said...

Hope you are feeling better. The girls had a blast with you Sunday. And, I'm glad you stayed and hung out with us for a while. We enjoyed spending time with you.