I Have A Reason to Sing...

Okay so its been almost one month since I've updated. It's amazing how fast time goes (but also how slow it goes...) depending on what I'm talking about. School is crazy, both in a good and bad way. I am learning so much as I shared in my last blog, and I just got my Western Civ test back on Tuesday (yes, the class I was so nervous about in the beginning) and I got a B+! It's not necessarily the grade I am so excited about, just the fact that I am improving and learning A LOT! But this also means I have to keep it up for the rest of this semester and next semester as well (a continuation of Western Civ with the same Prof). I know I can do it though. Anyway...I've constantly thought about blogging especially recentely as I've had many new things revealed to me. I've had a lot of thoughts but everytime I go to write about them on here, something new comes to my mind...there are so many things to think about! Don't worry, it's a good thing. So where do I start? I don't know...I'm just going to ramble for a bit...keep reading if you wish :)

God has opened my mind to new things and has paved a new path for me in direction. I know I don't have to figure it all out right now but the truth is that it's all been right there, it's just a matter of me tapping into my passions and figuring out exactly what they are. I am looking into communications. What is better than learning about how to communicate for a lifetime? haha. I enjoy talking, writing, acting and I know it couldn't hurt to see what that means for me. I've thought a lot recentely about what it means for me to talk like Jesus and about Jesus, not just show Him through my actions, although all these are VERY important. I want to be able to stand up whether in front of a group of people, or in a simple conversation with one person, and I want to be able to share God's truth. This is something I've always wanted, it's always been my passion and I can't escape that. What does that mean for me right now? I'm not sure...but I'm definitely exploring it and talking to God about it. It is a journey, that's for sure...

Something else that I've run into a lot here at Houghton are many conversations/arguments where people are discussing God and our response to Him. It's as though they are trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong in how we respond and worship to Jesus. There's a lot to that, of course, but there's something there that doesn't settle right with me. This morning at breakfast I sat down with a group of people who were discussing worship and the songs that we sing. They were talking about how a lot of the songs we sing these days do not emphasize the "bad". By that they meant that most songs are only proclaiming our hope and delight, and there aren't songs that speak of our "authentic emotions" as they put it. They said that it is rare that we find songs that speak of our anger at God or disappointment or whatever the emotion may be. I agree that there aren't many songs that say that, however I disagree with the fact that the lyrics in songs are not authentic because I believe they definitely are. I totally understand what they are referring to when they say everything always seems "happy" when they listen to a Christian radio station, but at the same time it's not necessarily that they are trying to portray a "happy" emotion as they are trying to portray a hopeful lifestyle, an alternative. Although the psalms are filled with songs expressing anger and frustration towards God, and we should be authentic in that sense, I truly believe that the songs we sing in church, the songs we hear on the radio, or the songs we sing to while we get ready in the morning are not being dishonest, or lacking authenticity be any means. I believe they are filled with truth and praise all the same. I've heard many people tell me that when they are in church sometimes they just don't sing the songs because they don't want to sing anything they don't feel or mean, which I've done before as well, but at the same time we can still sing songs of praise (even when we are mad, frustrated, upset, etc with God) because we are singing words that express our desire to want to be free of the anger, we sing because we long to worship God because He is worthy of our praise, not because we don't feel like it. He just is worthy. We can still sing truth to God without being completely pleased with Him...we still love Him, don't we? When I am upset with my dad, for example, I don't really want to yell and scream at him, although it is human of me to do so...but in the end I still love him. The same thing happens with God. We can yell and scream at Him, God can handle that, He wants us to be authentic with Him, but we don't desire to be angry with Him and sing songs of hatred, we desire to still worship Him and love Him despite it all, in light of what He's done for us. I don't think we are being dishonest when we sing songs of worship when we aren't exactly feeling what we are saying, we sing because we desire to worship Him and we long for Him to intercede. We can still be honest with God on paper, in prayer, and in song...but I don't think it's wrong to have all these hopeful songs that speak of God's immense love, hope, and glory. When we hear them on the radio, although it can be a bit cheesy at times (a little too "lovey-dovey" if you know what I mean), I still think that those stations are there for more of a witness than anything else. I love singing hopeful songs because it put things into perspective...it reminds me that I only have Jesus, that I am unworthy, but I am still loved...that I have a God who died for me, and now He's worthy of all of me. Although songs are the smallest amount of worship...He's still worthy of it.


All of my life, in every season, You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship