Happy Birthday Jesus!

"To possess true beauty, we must be willing to suffer. I don't like that. Just writing it down makes my heart shrink back. Yet, if Christ himself was perfected through his sufferings, why would I believe God would not do the same with me? Women who are stunningly beautiful are women who have had their hearts enlarged by suffering. By saying, "Yes" when the world says, "No." By paying the high price of loving truly and honestly without demanding that they be loved in return. And by refusing to numb their pain in the myriad of ways available. They have come to know that when everyone and everything has left them, God is there. They have learned, along with David, that those who go through the desolate valley will find it a place of springs (Ps. 84:6).
God does not always rescue us out of a painful season. You know that he does not always give to us what we so desperately want when we want it. He is after something much more valuable than our happiness. He is restoring and growing in us an eternal weight of glory. And sometimes...it hurts." --Captivating

How many times have I broken your heart?
…but still you forgive if only I ask.

I constantly overlook what He’s really done for me when I’m so small, weak, unworthy, lost, hopeless…without Him I am all these things. But why save the world? After all, He’s got the whole universe…something so much bigger and more complex than we will ever be able to grasp. And He’s got it all in the palm of his hand. He’s named every star and every planet. He smile’s as they sing glory to Him everyday. And He still makes time—beyond all that, He surpasses the rotten lies, this broken world, and still knows my name. He died…for me. This goes to show not only how much He loves me, but how much He hates sin. Beyond all sites—the galaxies, stars, planets, mountains, land—God chooses the hardest way out, the most painful, with the most suffering, and out came the most beautiful. He chose the cross. Where my sin lies along with the rest of the world. Saved us from death…and gave us life. Oh the wonderful cross. You’ve totally captured my Heart Father. You’ve forced me to fall off my feet and onto my knee’s—broken before you. Crying out, for its never been more real to me. I’ve never been able to express my emotion like this before—and it feels good. Not in worshipping the emotion, because that’s not what it’s about, but glorifying the Creator, the Savior, who didn’t have to be. The smaller I see my life, the bigger my view of God grows. God you’ve made me stronger. Thank you, for sending your Son, Jesus to this earth in the form of a baby. Thank you for allowing me to see that I don't have to leave Jesus in the manger this Christmas. I love you, so much. Oh, and happy birthday!


Merry Christmas you guys!!!

Fork vs. Spoon

I came to this realization last week, thanks to some very good friends of mine:

Macroni and cheese is much easier to eat when you use a spoon.

The Wound Matters

"Let the tears come. Get alone, get to your car or your bedroom or the shower and let the tears come. It is the only kind thing to do for your woundedness. Allow yourself to feel again. And feel you will---many things. Anger. That's okay. Anger's not a sin (Eph. 4:26). Remorse. Of course you feel remorse and regret for so many lost years. Fear. Yes, that makes sense. Jesus can handle the fear as well. In fact, there is no emotion you can bring up that Jesus can't handle. Let it all out. Grief is a form of validation; it says the wound mattered. It mattered. You mattered. That's not the way life was supposed to go. There are unwept tears down in there--the tears of a little girl who is lost and frightened. The tears of a teenage girl who's been rejected and has no place to turn. The tears of a woman whose life has been hard and lonely and nothing close to her dreams. Let the tears come.

It might help to remember that those who hurt you were also deeply wounded themselves. They were broken hearts, broken when they were young, and they fell captive to the Enemy. They were in fact pawns in his hands. This doesn't absolve them of the choices they made, the things they did. It just helps us to let them go--to realize that they were shattered souls themselves, used by our true Enemy in his war against femininity.

God invited me to go with him into the deep places of my heart that were hidden and wounded and bleeding still from heartbreaks and wounds I had received from my father's hand. Places I did not want to go. Memories I did not want to revisit. Emotions I did not want to feel. The only reason I said yes to God, the only reason I would travel there, was because I knew he would go with me. Hand in hand. There is a core part of our hearts that was made for Daddy. Made for his strong and tender love. The part is still there, and longing. Open it to Jesus and to your Father God. Ask him to come and love you there. Meet you there. We've all tried so hard to find the fulfillment of this love in other people, and it never, ever works. Let us give this treasure back to the One who can love us best." -- Captivating
......
I don't believe in coincidences. I have no doubt that this chapter I read today in this book came at the exact time I needed it. These words are so profound...ones I've needed to hear so badly, and very similar to the ones I heard just yesterday. God is looking out for me, I know it. Even through the smallest things like this, I can tell. I love that, even at my lowest moments, I have someone who I know loves me wholly and completely.